yeds

random happy thought.

i recently realized how much gavin and viah treasured their 1-month stay here. they've been longing to come back. asap. they've even intentionally left some of their stuff so they could use them when they're back. apart from their clothes and toothbrush, gavin left his huge mickey mouse. viah left all of her dirhams, which she said, she would use next time.

but what's sweeter is, they have chosen to remember the simplest things we did. like cooking. mopping the floor. our rather, eeeww moments, like bathing-while-mommy's-on-the-toilet. our random, nonsense bedtime stories that begin with "naa'y usa ka bata...", laundry-ing. watching gma tv shows over and over. and etc.

so, when would be next time...? i can hardly wait...

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

 

~Charles R. Swindoll

 

ingon ang wikipedia, mao na ang english translation.

i'm not a fanatic. and it's gross to say.. that i have fallen in love with

enchong dee

... because my mom's middle name is dee. and i think my hubby is falling for enchong as well.. so supporting my distant cousin is what it is. lols. we loved katorse - cheese, corn and all. so it wouldn't hurt to see more of erich. again.

:) teleseryes somehow make me happy.

 

now, i'm posting happy posts.. weeee! :) i should do this often..

 

 

 

 

just got off a 20-dirham-worth-of-talktime with my kids which started like this:

viah: mommy! naa ka'y give nako?

mommy: oo, kahibaw ko.. lipstick ug bike..

viah: MOMMY!?! PLASTIC BALLOON!! kang kuya pud..

i literally choked when i heard her stress out the words 'plastic balloon'. i felt happy, nevertheless. and relieved that despite this era of technology and endless wants, my kids still choose to enjoy the simple things in life. but not only plastic balloons. if you give them spongebob stickers or bubble-blowing gadgets readily available in the public market -- then you just made their day! any "ching" gum or lollipop would do them the same degree of blissfulness, too. when it comes to food, they'd more often go for a home-cooked meal. it is usually gavin who urges us to eat at home when we're out in the mall. they grew up on utan bisaya for breakfast, that's why they prefer slurping on a hot soup once in a while.

my sister-in-law told me they're brushing their own rubber shoes as well.

sigh, they've always made their homesick momma proud!!

credits to my mama-in-law, papa-in-law, sisters-in-law, aunties-in-law, and everyone back home. THANK YOU for this and more...

 

 

 

..now this.. almost feels like taking that qatar airways flight bound for cebu. i've been away for too long and i miss my friends. i hate thinking about what i've been missing all along. i admit i was enticed by facebook. and the broad, broad coverage of friend-finding. and then farm town. and pet society. and fishville.

 but it's never too late. good times will always be good times.

G made me promise to come back. of course. i don't even have to blog to belong. i miss you G! you have one stalker up on her toes now. :)

never mind the clogged nose, swinging fever and congested throat -- i am happy!

 

p.s. gawd! this may sound like a late reaction but i can't believe what they're saying against sam's sister. wtf!

 

 

 

how i missed you...

 

 

 

 

 

 

tomorrow does not change. although it does mark a change in the way i miss you. tomorrow is just another day, with me longing for you more and more. there is so much you don't know yet, but we are getting there.. right where we are supposed to be...

in the meantime, i should not worry about how you casually don sandos and dirty slippers when you head off to starbucks, or whether you are sipping on a decaf or not. you are loved, much more than you know, much more than we'll ever know...

i'll be home soon..

 

 

 

 

 

"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a Better One"

 

 

 

this and my last 2 posts were inspired by an email about relationships.

 

 

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "a speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he would be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks, plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

 

My Thoughts

as a wife, i reserve the right to say that "behind every man's success is a woman". lol.

my hubby is not ahead of his game. not yet. but those who know what his ordeal was a few years back can fairly say that a bit of a miracle IS responsible for what has transcended between then and now. the miracle could have been mama and her patience, her consistent prayers, her unshaking faith and unconditional love.. or it could have been our little viah whose conception falls at about the same time the 'miracle' occurred...

i say, above all else, it's just vincent. it's just him. we are merely a fan to his flame, the flicker is all but himself.

and to let him know that is what makes the right speech...

 

 

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB"...

 

My Thoughts

i am afraid of mistrust. i've dealt with trust issues before and early on in marriage. somehow, with all those petty fights and hormone-fueled quarrels, we have founded a resolution to honesty. honesty is our best policy -- and i am saying that with faith.. that we may be able to strengthen our capability to nurture trust and never let it break..

marriage, they say, is not a bed of roses. it may actually be a bed of (rose) thorns to others. we've only just begun -- not past the 7-year itch -- and i absolutely don't know what the future holds.. so it may sound all cheesy and sappy, but we don't have much of a choice..

all we have is love. i'm pretty much certain that is enough..

i recently got what i had been wishing for, and since everything comes with a price, i was asked so nicely to give back in return...

 

more smiles...

to be always happy...

to be as jolly and bubbly as i am supposed to be...

 

oh well, it has always been a wonderful world.

 

it feels so good what a mere smile can do. it can change everything.. and the good thing is, it's never too late..

 

 

breezed through my college files last night. i had sorts.. sorts i can no longer relate to. review questions i can no longer answer. there were my copied-and-pasted notes from different websites. it's so sad -- i don't know what hox genes are anymore. i could not define haploid from diploid anymore. the 'blastula' and 'gastrula' have become foreign words. i even had a hard time thinking what living matter Coleus is supposed to be. excel files with various data labelled important -- how important could they have been? thesis drafts and photos of damaged corals... me in my rented diving suit, a slate board and a pencil on each hand.

and i could not sleep because they said that wood and metal "shrink" in hot temperature. i've always believed otherwise: heat = expand; cold = shrink ...but they just sounded so sure..

i want to go back to school...

 

 

 

 

 

 

The most beautiful thing I have ever seen...

 

this was my sister's (slash brother's) reply to my rant via email. it's so cliche, we've heard it before.. but what's special about it is the heart it came from. i miss her/him heaps. we literally grew up together in this unique little story called our lives.

it's funny how we tend to form closer ties as we mature. i could attest to that, you know. i could live without talking to my mom. before. we did'nt really care about each other then. but since i had my own kids, everything changed. i could readily tell any family member "i love you" without the 'ew' feeling afterwards. daddy still doesn't talk a lot, though. we don't really talk a lot. but the last time we saw each other, he hugged me and kissed my head, and it felt like falling in love.. melting away.. i was assured, right then and there, that i am loved and nothing in the world could go wrong.. i was recently writing letters, one for mama (the birthday girl in my previous blog) and one for my mama-in-law. i know they appreciate letters more than emails and stuff. i like letters better, too. they have a more personal touch, especially when you seal them in white envelopes. i remember writing a letter when i was just 8 years old. it was for mama who was in the US for a vacation. i was crying and the tears were falling on the paper. i don't know what i was thinking then, but i did encircle the teardrops and labelled them "tears". hahaha. that was my way of stressing my point - that i missed her. i thought of the same scheme when i wrote those 2 letters. but imagine how crazy it would look on a 25-year-old-mother-of-2. hahaha. i honestly had a hard time expressing how much i miss them in handwritten words.

when we were little kids, we were in a hurry to grow up, to live out, to be away from the rules our parents/elders are imposing on us. we were in a hurry to be free, to be on our own. now we're here. all grown-up. ironically, i'm freakin' scared. i don't want to leave the house anymore. i don't want to be away anymore.. it just feels awful being far and not being able to see them everyday.. i am supposed to be on my own. i have my own family to raise now. but i've never felt more clingy -- not in the past 20 years or so. they've always called me independent. but why does it feel like i'm needing them like i've never did before?

 

---------------

i tried to avoid ranting and posting sad blogs.. really, i did..

but there. i just did it again..

 

we heart IKEA,

and i'm sure it shows..

maybe this bald guy doesn't understand.

 

 

 

 

 

orange walls and yellow light..

i love.

 

 

 

 

 

nice...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

perhaps some kitchens are meant solely for pictorials, and not for cooking?

 

 

 

 

 

perfect for my tambi boy and tambi girl..

 

 

 

 

 

 

bathrooms where we can actually take pictures of ourselves while doing what we love to do..

 

 

 

 

just nice, eh?

This is the WOMAN who's had sleepless nights changing my nappies, rocking me to sleep and keeping me warm while she was reading college textbooks after a full day's job. This is the WOMAN who had to purchase two dozen bibs because i salivated like a mad dog when i was a baby. This is the WOMAN who taught me everything -- from walking to talking, from reading to writing...

My MAMA just turned 75...

 

She doesn't look her age -- she just forgot to dye her hair again.

Looky here, she's with her favorite great-granddaughter who happens to be the daughter of her favorite granddaughter who is also the daughter of her favorite son..

But don't get me wrong, we don't do favorites in our family.. LoLz!

 

 

 

Of all the things, places and people,

why this?

i hate all of you for sending me this photo!!

 

 

 

 

Ug ni-gara jud sila!!

Grrrrrrr!!

I miss you, roasted calf...

 I'll see you in August.. Promise!!

 

Seriously now...

I could only wish I was there (not to pig out, but) to simply be there on her big day. They said Mama had a blast last night, and that was music to my ears. Above anything else, I just want Mama to be happy...

She is, by all means, the Greatest and Strongest Woman I know... or will ever know in my lifetime.

 

Can you believe it? She can still walk for an hour with a speed I couldn't even keep up? She's been teaching my kids the same basic lessons which she has taught for two generations. She's absolutely, remarkably, amazingly exceptional.

When I grow up (or old -- a more appropriate term), I want to be just like her..

 

 

“I don’t really feel obliged to spell out anything. It is when you have an efflux of thoughts coupled with an urge to express that you decide to sit down and key in those words...”

 

 

 

We all see things differently, and the downside is my inability to verbalize a few delicate perceptions. I mind being misunderstood. But to fabricate my very own polyethylene over a concealed truth is just not my idea of a character. I have always been translucent – a shift in my mood is as distinct as black and white. In spite of what has been said or unsaid, how I behave is where I take a stand.

 

For the past months, the feeling of ‘disinclination’ is not without reason, but which I no longer choose to account in detail. I'd rather it be as simple as a circumstance of differences -- in ideals, in preference, in the definition of truthfulness, in the little things that seem to intertwine and complicate themselves.

 

I am just human, too. But that is not the excuse nor the reason.

 

 

 

"I'll see you when you get there.. If you ever get there..."

in the midst of my self-inflicted despair and my overanalysis of simple things, i tried some tests to check how well i am doing with myself. i do not agree with some points, but...

anyways, you can take the tests from here: quizbox

 

On The Kind of Person I Am...

You are a very charming person. The sexy charm that you posses attracts others' attention and gains you much popularity. Most people like the way you look.

You are advised not to believe too much of people's sweet and honeyed words and phrases. It is suggested that you show more of your talents and intelligence, so that people will have a good impression of you not only because of your outward appearance but because you have a good character.

 

On How Well Will I Survive In This Wild World...

You are quite pessimistic and wavering. People can simply find out what's on your mind from your facial expression or speech.

 

On My Hidden Talent...

The Mass Communicator

You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

 

A Personality Test...

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

 

A Psychological Test...

• You have a complicated personality.
• How ambitious you are depends on the height that you answered, which is: middle.
• You are opinionated and self-oriented, the size of this personality as seen by others is medium.
• Wood means peaceful personality.
• You are also down-to-earth.
• You are an opportunist.
• Your best friend is the one you need when you are in trouble.

 

My Thoughts...

i could be charming but sexy charm is just, ew. i was never popular, okay? i hate to admit it, but i am pessimistic. i used to be not pessimistic, but that was before. the course, mass communications, was one of my options 9 years ago. news announcer? ganahan ko, actually.. flight attendant? mag-cherifer sah ko.. model? like duh! hellouer?!

i could be down-to-earth, but then again, unsa man pud akong ipang-hambog beh? and i am not that straightforward, you know. i stutter and mutter, and do blogs as a steam outlet. i'll skip the love part. lol. i still don't know what i want to do. although my heart is screaming the word "housewife". nyahaha, akong dream karir. the truest result is re: my fear. *sigh* mao d-i mag suko2x ko.. sorry hubby... the rest of the results, ok ra. but hellouer?? dili ko opportunist!

i miss my best friend.

"i miss you, miss you, miss you ... i miss you like crazy..."

yeah, the title has got nothing to do with this.. except for the fact that it IS holy week and i couldn't even feel it. whaddaya know? i'm in a muslim country!! i envy those who are flocking to bora or bantayan or wherever. i envy those who are having pork-less meals and prepping themselves for their Visita Iglesia.. the processions, the reenactment of the Siete Palabras and all the dramatic lenten specials on tv.

haaaaay. and i shall ask with you:

"why the hell am i torturing myself??"

 

well, well, well.. that's something I SHOULD ponder on this week..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i am pretending that there is nothing important to do

nothing important to think of

no reason to be

that life is b*llsh*t

that i am not as fat as i think

that happiness is a choice and it's fully under my control

and i could be a better person each day

because the sunrise is more beautiful than the sunset

and because a lot of things look prettier in dim light

believe that every living thing has his optimum conditions waiting to be realized

that it's perfectly normal for a soul to dislike another

things always happen for a reason

but i may choose not to find out...

and i am okay.